I hate colds I hate colds I hate colds I hate colds I hate colds

I remember reading about this African chook thingy which was supposed to be so sharp that it could be used to send poison to a person's bloodstream without their knowing that they had been pricked (Willard Price is marvelous!). What I wish for now is a large scale version of this thing which could be inserted painlessly into my ear so that the resultant hole would leave a path for the phlegm to ooze out while somehow leaving my brain inside - or even if my brain must needs leave me, i dont care - as long as the phlegm goes first!!! I HATE COLDS!

Have you ever noticed how you dont seem to want to wake up? And all the sounds are muffled (which can be good but as long as it's not a side-effect of this awful CHRONIC DISEASE!)? How moving your little finger can make you want to scrunch your face up in a frown and look at your hand as though it belongs to some alien being who likes pain? It's not a sharp pain or acute in the exact sense of the term - but you are not used to your LITTLE finger asserting its existence with twinges all the time! And then there is the whole floaty feeling where each blink takes just a little longer than normal and you wonder where your day has gone to... sigh... may I re-iterate: I HATE COLDS!

And this blog post really was cathartic! ah! Regurgitation of mental phlegm can help clear the metaphorical body of toxins too! :P

Defining factor: Masochism

I will do it this time:

Dear Diary!!! :P pointless... hehehe

I think, no I believe... and very sincerely I might add, that my life is well written by fate. Now, I do not subscribe to the general belief of fate being a palm leaf with all the twists and turns of your life written on it and stuck on your forehead ("Thalai-yezhuthu"). I prefer a more quantum-mechanical view of the universe. I believe that when every conscious entity is first conscious of its existence as pertains to this universe and this space-time, at that very moment, there are an infinite number of future paths open to it. Every step it takes down one road leaves a set of branches back in the past that are no longer open to it. However, every single decision, every single thought affects its own fate and where it is heading. The further down this path of life we head, the more finite our options become. However, this finiteness is not countable in our sense of the term - it would still be innumerable to us. This is because the number of decisions we make each moment of each day are innumerable in and of themselves and each decision would head us down one branch of our life-path. Whether we are 7 or 70, we still have an unfurling tree to climb with so many branches as to shelter the biggest giant from all the rain that might possibly decide to liberate itself unto his head. All this means that our life, our fate, is in our hands as well as the hands of that omnipresent, omniscient "upar-wala", the ever-loving universal sentient energy that pervades our and all other universes. And this especially means that our life is our responsibility and ours alone. The super-sentient has handed over control of our destinies into our hands. So there is no use railing against life or others. We, each, are uniquely situated to hold the reins over the big decisions which dictate our life path. Yes, there will be impinging influences of others and the butterfly effect will waft our brains to dance over chaotic boundaries. However, the most basic decisions, thoughts, and emotional influences on our life are ours and ours alone.

Which leads me to my current bout of whining... If the main "culprit" who is responsible for my life is me - well, I'm a masochist!!! I like adventure sports, I like adrenaline rushes, I like running to things last minute because it gives me a delicious feeling to still be on time. And I cannot seem to stop myself from walking along paths and right into potholes even though I see them yawning wide and deep right below my feet! I come through it all well and happy, safe and sound and content. However, what I do not understand is how I let myself into these things. I pride myself on thinking hard about everything I do and everything I get myself into. But sometimes, I do stand back and find myself blinking - just blinking - I did this? I DID this? I did THIS? hello! What was I thinking??? And then I relax, breathe, and beat my brain back out of panic and realize: Yes, I DID THIS and Yes, I INTENDED to do THIS and Yes, it might not have been intended initially but I am not disappointed with the current turn of events - if anything I could be said to be ecstatic about most of it. Just that some small portions of my life will always be out of control and since they are out of control, and they will be spoiled little children, I will NOT give over control of my emotions to them. The in-control portions of my life leave me with a sense of joy and "twinkle-some-ness" (yes - but what can I do, it so well defined my state right now). So, yes, one of the defining factors of my life is masochism. The other is fate. One more is happiness. And the last and most important: my rational and evolving thought processes, no matter how right or wrong they might be viewed by the rest of the sentients on this planet :P

Ambitious overturn of laziness

Well, it all started off with me realizing the tires around my tummy were getting the better of said tummy :P So, shall we say, I bowed my head to the lords/ladies of weight loss and decided to do something about it. However, as is well known to the general public, thinking about doing something and actually doing something are totally different. Getting back to the main storyline... I had Made my Decision to start an exercise program a while back. I started slow, some 15 to 20 minutes of yoga in the morning to start off with, because even the thought of getting up earlier than that made me just want to stay back in bed. The difference I felt, versus being a couch potato all through as it had been before, was enormous. I felt stretched, lithe and energetic. I felt a lot more inclined to walk in the sunlight rather than squint through it and grunt. However, sadly, my fitness levels were still not up to anywhere close to the mark. A recent over-enthusiastic bout of exercise caused a state of irritable cramps, tension headaches, and sleeplessness. I had to literally wake up at 3am, take a hot shower and 2 paracetamols before I reached a state of enough relaxation that I was capable of sleep. I had to do some rather heavy duty stretches while in the shower before my toes would uncramp enough to enjoy the hot water. In the past, I really did not prescribe to a serious exercise regimen as most would describe it. All I did was an hour of serious yoga everyday. During that period, I had been on a trek of 2 days and may I say, I did NOT face this sort of pain. So, surprisingly, satisfyingly, I find that yoga is absolutely amazing!!! And I am so much more enthusiastic about going back to my old routine of an hour of yoga a day. But yes, I did not do anything remotely resembling exercise today. It was hard enough to drag my eyelids up, shower again and show up at work with a very sorry approximation of enthusiasm for another monday.... :)

It's a beautiful life!

I feel like starting this post off with a salutation that reads, "Hello Diary!"... :P I woke up today and the sun peeked in through my lace curtains, all golden and gorgeous - the rays seeming to be picked out individually among the ubiquitous floating motes of falling sun drops. I recall poking my nose out of the covers and scrunching my face into a shivering smile (it was cold!).

Going into my kitchen and looking out the open window, there was this enormous, symmetric, gossamer-spun spider web that twinkled and shown with sun-polished dew... The rain had decided to visit drier shores for the moment and had left my world washed clean as a freshly laundered cotton dress just waiting to be slipped on over freshly scrubbed pink-clean skin!

By all the gods above and below, I love this world! It has been spun so beautifully, each thread made unique with colors more fantastic than even my fertile imagination could conjure! Each breath so sweet, each smell so pungent with aromas beyond imagining. Each voice bringing a fresh barrage of laughter! Each smile a rainbow to hang dreams upon! The image of "uplifted heart" is stamped on me today, it's like every time I draw in a breath there's no room for more because my lungs and heart are already so full of life that each dark corner has been illuminated. I feel illuminated! And I wish, oh I hope, these days go on and on and on - for each moment brings a joy anew!