Clarity and catharsis

I'm just beginning to realize that no matter how logically you might think your thought processes are, there will always be something or other to show you how truly out of control your life really is! Not that this is a bad thing, in terms of edification - however, the shock can leave a brain slightly mummified for a few days.

There is one topic that has struck me as being important and needing further thought. The idea of rebellion. Whether it is quiet and is confined to your own life, or loud and embraces the whole nation is not the crux of the matter. The matter needing most thought is this: When does rebellion mean a need for change and a fight against rules considered obsolete, and when does it change to become a prison: you have been rebelling and everyone is rebelling so rebellion must in fact be the rule now! That was the point I came to a few weeks back.

Rebellion, as a whole, is a necessity in any society. Without it, without the thought that goes into it (I am not belaboring that rebellion which involves thoughtless disagreement due to there being bitterness between the rebel and the person whose strictures are being rebelled against), there will be no change, no growth, no progress. Science itself is in constant rebellion, against itself, against the scientists of the past, against God if you want to be finicky - metaphysics for instance in some people's perspectives... The most common art form is the rebellion against parents. Most common rebellions just involve a sub-conscious need to gain control of one's life and take over reins of said life from the hands of obsessive compulsive parents (most parents have OCD when it comes to their children, and I am almost 99% certain I will be one among them when I have a child of my own). Suppose, just hypothetically, you think that there is this common pattern that runs through your society that is only present to obfuscate and put blinders on the lives of the societal members, and, again hypothetically speaking, you think you have found a big enough reason that this pattern needs to be changed in your own life. I still hold, no matter that my pattern now falls back among old well-trodden paths, that it is not wrong and in fact, it would be a betrayal to self if one did not try to rebel against this norm. However, the rebellion should be made with careful thought and so that no harm comes to those around you and least hurt befalls everyone around you.

So, based on the previous thought, suppose that life has moved along down that path of rebellion - and mind you, every step along that path deserves grave and heavy thought, because, it is not just a simple cliché but a fact of life, that everything happens for a reason - meaning that even those patterns are present for a reason! So, giving enough thought, you find that you are enmeshed in some serious life-altering rebellion, quiet but personally grave, and have been at it for a while. There has been no reason to step out of that path for yourself because you have been quite certain that this is the right course for you. Now, after a while, you find that you arrive at a crossroads. You, maybe, arrive at a point where it is pointed out to you clearly that this rebellion of yours is causing irreparable harm to people close to you. And you find that the need for rebellion is no longer as important as ensuring peace and preserving balance in the lives surrounding yours. You realize that this quiet rebellion of yours is leading you down a path you are no longer willing to commit to. What is the right thing to do here? You can easily get stuck at this point. What if you decide to discontinue your rebellion? Would it appear that you were weak? That your thought processes from before were wrong? That you are no longer the most capable person to run your life? Will your peers look down upon you and think that you have taken the easy way out? Will you now have to bow down and never be able to make choices again in your life and imprison your thoughts to the same patterns and only those patterns that run like a lattice through society?

That was when I came to a very simple conclusion. If the rebellion had really been provoked from deep thought and full rational clarity, then not stopping the rebellion when that same thought process leads you to that step as the most rational step to take would just be a betrayal to yourself. It honestly does not matter what other people think. If you can no longer trust your own thoughts, then all is lost.

And in this post, rebellion might appear to be a word filled with heavy gravitas. It is not. It can be anything as simple as rebellion in the form of dress and behavior to rebellion in career modes or rebellion in a single word and saying NO and then moving on to continue with other patterns that are comfortable to your thought process. The only important thing is that every step that is taken in life should be given its due thought and its due respect. Without this, and just letting our subconscious lead us by the nose, just leads to a very depressing society where all rebellions are life-threatening to the rebels because moving out of the pattern that is so rigid will just seem that much more mountainous.

Have no regrets and plan to never look back except to keep the lessons learnt dear to your heart. Being human, and prone to errors in judgement, there will be sadness, there will be times when a little dulling of the natural enthusiasm for life will happen, but that too will pass. Life is not to be wasted on cyclic beatings and willful sorrow. Rather, it is to be filled with all the tiny things that make each day so beautiful: laughter and tears, thought and more thought, and love and loyalty and learning.