Emoting

There is this book I was reading... It starts off saying: "There were some days that deserved to be drowned at birth and everyone sent back to bed with a hot brandy, a box of chocolates, and a warm, energetic companion."

Completely brilliant and makes me smile even though today appears to be exactly one such day for me. There are days when I feel like the sun is shining inside my lungs, I talk non-stop, smile till my cheeks hurt, and add a little skip to each step out of sheer love of life. Today, it feels like there is huge sponge lodged somewhere deep in my chest cavity that is sucking my heart's blood with every arterial-pump of my distraught heart. Melodramatic, ain't I? A concerned reader might choose this moment to drag the reading to a halt, and post a sweet question asking me what exactly is wrong? The irritating, annoying, difficult response that I must give is that I really have no proper answer! I feel rather like a wet rag, with my brain smothered in feathers, and each breath I take just seems to directly open a leak-valve behind my eyeballs and squirt saline fluid to obscure my vision! Yeah, such nonsense ought, if there is any justice in the world, to be forbidden from overtaking anyone's system. Ah well...

Have you ever felt that your entire psychological self is one big, open, oozing wound where any joke, any laugh, just goes to irritate? to cause your entire self to shrink down for a moment, contract around itself, and rebound with such energy that it spills onto some poor onlooker who only wanted a laugh? How do you explain yourself? How do you say that it's pure dissatisfaction with yourself. You just want to curl up into a corner and forget about the world for a while, but the world keeps knocking at your shutters until you want to scream! You want to float on a stream of fiction while your subconscious sorts itself out, and suddenly you find yourself too waterlogged to float! Life can be perfect, but if you cannot communicate your feelings properly or cannot communicate them in a way that can be understood, then you might as well go stick your head in the ground, dig your fingers through to your ears, stick them in, and go "la la la la" and just let the world go by. If you cannot soothe yourself and find the path to understanding how to fix yourself up to your own satisfaction, it is with complete conviction that I state, you should, in no way, let the emotional overflow scald anyone else.... Of course, I keep telling myself all this, but sometimes, the best thing to do is to write it all out and let it flow away from you until serenity, will-ye, nill-ye, overtakes you... As it has overtaken me... :)

Emotional catharsis over...