Clarity and catharsis

I'm just beginning to realize that no matter how logically you might think your thought processes are, there will always be something or other to show you how truly out of control your life really is! Not that this is a bad thing, in terms of edification - however, the shock can leave a brain slightly mummified for a few days.

There is one topic that has struck me as being important and needing further thought. The idea of rebellion. Whether it is quiet and is confined to your own life, or loud and embraces the whole nation is not the crux of the matter. The matter needing most thought is this: When does rebellion mean a need for change and a fight against rules considered obsolete, and when does it change to become a prison: you have been rebelling and everyone is rebelling so rebellion must in fact be the rule now! That was the point I came to a few weeks back.

Rebellion, as a whole, is a necessity in any society. Without it, without the thought that goes into it (I am not belaboring that rebellion which involves thoughtless disagreement due to there being bitterness between the rebel and the person whose strictures are being rebelled against), there will be no change, no growth, no progress. Science itself is in constant rebellion, against itself, against the scientists of the past, against God if you want to be finicky - metaphysics for instance in some people's perspectives... The most common art form is the rebellion against parents. Most common rebellions just involve a sub-conscious need to gain control of one's life and take over reins of said life from the hands of obsessive compulsive parents (most parents have OCD when it comes to their children, and I am almost 99% certain I will be one among them when I have a child of my own). Suppose, just hypothetically, you think that there is this common pattern that runs through your society that is only present to obfuscate and put blinders on the lives of the societal members, and, again hypothetically speaking, you think you have found a big enough reason that this pattern needs to be changed in your own life. I still hold, no matter that my pattern now falls back among old well-trodden paths, that it is not wrong and in fact, it would be a betrayal to self if one did not try to rebel against this norm. However, the rebellion should be made with careful thought and so that no harm comes to those around you and least hurt befalls everyone around you.

So, based on the previous thought, suppose that life has moved along down that path of rebellion - and mind you, every step along that path deserves grave and heavy thought, because, it is not just a simple cliché but a fact of life, that everything happens for a reason - meaning that even those patterns are present for a reason! So, giving enough thought, you find that you are enmeshed in some serious life-altering rebellion, quiet but personally grave, and have been at it for a while. There has been no reason to step out of that path for yourself because you have been quite certain that this is the right course for you. Now, after a while, you find that you arrive at a crossroads. You, maybe, arrive at a point where it is pointed out to you clearly that this rebellion of yours is causing irreparable harm to people close to you. And you find that the need for rebellion is no longer as important as ensuring peace and preserving balance in the lives surrounding yours. You realize that this quiet rebellion of yours is leading you down a path you are no longer willing to commit to. What is the right thing to do here? You can easily get stuck at this point. What if you decide to discontinue your rebellion? Would it appear that you were weak? That your thought processes from before were wrong? That you are no longer the most capable person to run your life? Will your peers look down upon you and think that you have taken the easy way out? Will you now have to bow down and never be able to make choices again in your life and imprison your thoughts to the same patterns and only those patterns that run like a lattice through society?

That was when I came to a very simple conclusion. If the rebellion had really been provoked from deep thought and full rational clarity, then not stopping the rebellion when that same thought process leads you to that step as the most rational step to take would just be a betrayal to yourself. It honestly does not matter what other people think. If you can no longer trust your own thoughts, then all is lost.

And in this post, rebellion might appear to be a word filled with heavy gravitas. It is not. It can be anything as simple as rebellion in the form of dress and behavior to rebellion in career modes or rebellion in a single word and saying NO and then moving on to continue with other patterns that are comfortable to your thought process. The only important thing is that every step that is taken in life should be given its due thought and its due respect. Without this, and just letting our subconscious lead us by the nose, just leads to a very depressing society where all rebellions are life-threatening to the rebels because moving out of the pattern that is so rigid will just seem that much more mountainous.

Have no regrets and plan to never look back except to keep the lessons learnt dear to your heart. Being human, and prone to errors in judgement, there will be sadness, there will be times when a little dulling of the natural enthusiasm for life will happen, but that too will pass. Life is not to be wasted on cyclic beatings and willful sorrow. Rather, it is to be filled with all the tiny things that make each day so beautiful: laughter and tears, thought and more thought, and love and loyalty and learning.

... what she says about love...

Love now-a good, solid love is something infinitely rare and difficult
to maintain, because you don't know everything your partner is feeling.
Love takes work. Love means being able to apologize and mean it when
you blunder. Love is worth fighting for!

One of the very things that made what Van and I have a love-match as
well as a lifebonding was that we were so different. It is like a
marriage - you marry who you think your beloved is, and then discover
who they really are over the years. It's that discovery that makes a
marriage work. We did have things in common, lots of them, but you
would never have assumed that from first seeing us. It made hunting
and finding them all the sweeter. And it gave us chances to introduce
each other to something new. 

Love is as much trust as it is devotion. Oh, there is no such thing as
perfection, or a "perfect" love. I doubt there is even perfection in
the Havens. Wouldn't perfection be a bore?

Build on what you have, children, the foundation is a good one, so now
see what kind of a house you can raise. And don't worry if the windows
aren't the right size, the door is too tall, or there's dust on the
mantelpiece. Just make sure the walls and the ceiling are sound, and
make certain your home holds laughter. The dust will take care of itself.

The path less taken - with a lot more friction!

There is a very beautiful saying:

The road to Disaster is ordered by the Righteous, planned by the Well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions.

I took this right out of Mercedes Lackey's Shinain sayings. Ok, maybe beautiful is not apt for this quotation, I'd say, dead-on is probably the better adjective in the world of slang.

Now, as an aside - slang is so wonderfully useful to convey the nitty gritty nuances of what we want to say, isn't it? Totally useful!

Back on topic: So you have this person, let's call him person A. He is surrounded by his little circle of life composed of his nuclear family, his extended family, his friends and his acquaintances. Within this little circle, you have his well-wishers, his rivals, his coat-climbers, his nemeses... He knows, quite clearly, who is what and how much each person means to him and vice-versa. He knows immediately what advice to discount, without any guilt, from any of his far acquaintances or the people who, he judges, wish to add negativity to his life. He also knows that some people in his circle wish only to help him but who are wise enough to let him find his own path through life. Because let's face it, no two paths are alike - similar maybe to a remarkable extent, but as long as each individual can think for himself, he's never going to be heading the same way as anyone else at every single cross-roads. He knows however, that these people are always there to turn to, who will help with no favors asked, or judgement imposed. Then there are the other loved ones who believe that just because they love, they have the responsibility to shine the light on every single corner of his soul. There might be dark corners that shy away from this intensity and camouflage themselves even better through subconscious manipulation (to his detriment), there might be sharp edges which cut out at the seekers and lead to growing pain for them as well as him, there might be outright helplessness at watching a path being drawn that completely misguides him because the seekers feel they know best... a million and one things... However, all this leads to is either a fight to develop his own character as he feels works best for him with the companionship of a guilt-laden emotional burden due to the need to fight with loved ones, or an equivalently guilt-laden trip down someone else's path, to someone else's goal with the constant knowledge that this is not of his seeking, not what will complete him, and even if he begins to enjoy the path, there is always the insidious knowledge that the one right that every human being deserves to enjoy was denied to him by the people he trusted the most. Hmmm, I guess I did not need the name A... a highly individualistic portrayal this is, is it not? Biased toward the individual. Of course, if this A has been brought up by responsible people, his character has been shaped and moulded in a way that will wish to follow societal norms as this is the path of least resistance. However, should he choose to rebel, with the knowledge of those norms and the knowledge that they exist to provide a relatively calm, cohabitable existance, his reasons should be given due weightage and he should be given the chance to see where his chosen path takes him.

The world needs change - stagnation only leads to mediocrity, or worse, superficiality in life. If a few, or more, individuals choose to take the path less taken, may the blessings of the universe be distributed equally to them as the rest of the general populace... :)

Take a step back...

You would think that once you find someone (anyone, a friend, relative, acquaintance), that you respect and with whom you are at the same level of understanding so that communication is entered into with ease... you would think that dealing with them is easy and logical. However, when it comes to the various games that people play, you again find that the same someone is no longer just a friend, but maybe also a counselor who you would rather not disappoint, or a person whose accomplishments become a yardstick by which you measure your personal growth, or a rival in affections for a grandparent, or a million other roles - most of them being subconscious. So, here's where it should be easy to step back, analyse and respond to situations in a cool, rational manner which leaves no room for misunderstandings. However, unemotional responses can be misconstrued as uninvolved relationships, rational responses can be taken as superior insults... Jeesh! what is a person to do! Stepping back too far? I'm quite certain it can only lead to insanity...