The Jumblies by Edward Lear

Another hilarious poem I wanted to share...

The Jumblies 

They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
In a Sieve they went to sea:
In spite of all their friends could say,
On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
In a Sieve they went to sea!
And when the Sieve turned round and round,
And every one cried, 'You'll all be drowned!'
They called aloud, 'Our Sieve ain't big,
But we don't care a button! we don't care a fig!
In a Sieve we'll go to sea!'

  Far and few, far and few,
  Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
  Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
  And they went to sea in a Sieve.

They sailed away in a Sieve, they did,
In a Sieve they sailed so fast,
With only a beautiful pea-green veil
Tied with a riband by way of a sail,
To a small tobacco-pipe mast;
And every one said, who saw them go,
'O won't they be soon upset, you know!
For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long,
And happen what may, it's extremely wrong
In a Sieve to sail so fast!'

  Far and few, far and few,
  Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
  Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
  And they went to sea in a Sieve.

The water it soon came in, it did,
The water it soon came in;
So to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
In a pinky paper all folded neat,
And they fastened it down with a pin.
And they passed the night in a crockery-jar,
And each of them said, 'How wise we are!
Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
While round in our Sieve we spin!'

  Far and few, far and few,
  Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
  Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
  And they went to sea in a Sieve.

And all night long they sailed away;
And when the sun went down,
They whistled and warbled a moony song
To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
In the shade of the mountains brown.
'O Timballo! How happy we are,
When we live in a Sieve and a crockery-jar,
And all night long in the moonlight pale,
We sail away with a pea-green sail,
In the shade of the mountains brown!'

  Far and few, far and few,
  Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
  Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
  And they went to sea in a Sieve.

They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,
To a land all covered with trees,
And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,
And a hive of silvery Bees.
And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws,
And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,
And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,
And no end of Stilton Cheese.

  Far and few, far and few,
  Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
  Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
  And they went to sea in a Sieve.

And in twenty years they all came back, In twenty years or more,
And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!
For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
And the hills of the Chankly Bore!'
And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
And every one said, 'If we only live,
We too will go to sea in a Sieve,---
To the hills of the Chankly Bore!'

  Far and few, far and few,
  Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
  Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
  And they went to sea in a Sieve.

-- Edward Lear

A compilation of nonsense poems by others...

Hilarious nonsense poems:

One bright morning in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and killed those two dead boys.

A paralyzed donkey walking by,

Kicked the copper in the eye,

Sent him through a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

(If you don't believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

Anglo-saxon riddle:

A moth ate some words -- it seemed to me

strangely weird -- when I heard this wonder:

that it had devoured -- the song of a man.

A thief in the thickness of night -- gloriously mouthed

the source of knowledge -- but the thief was not

the least bit wiser -- for the words in his mouth.

A poem by Christopher Isherwood from his Poems Past and Present:

The common cormorant or shag

Lays eggs inside a paper bag

The reason you will see no doubt

It is to keep the lightning out

But what these unobservant birds

Have never noticed is that herds

Of wandering bears may come with buns

And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.

Source: Wikipedia

about Deism... from wiki :)

*Me being a constructive Deist, figured I'd better post something informative about it - Wikipedia came in extremely handy!

I disagree with:
Rejection of all religions based on books that claim to contain the revealed word of God.
Rejection of Judaism, Christianity, Islam and other religious beliefs.

The books not be the literal word of God, but they do contain marvelous pearls of wisdom. Many of the human interpretations may be wrong but I believe that the basic philosophy of all religions is one and the same... This is why I specifically label myself a 'Constructive' Deist.*


Deism can be a belief in deity absent any doctrinal governance or precise definition of the nature of such a deity. Deism bears a relationship to naturalism. As such Deism gives credit to the formation of life and the universe to a higher power that by design allows only natural processes to govern creation.

Critical and constructive deism

The concept of deism covers a wide variety of positions on a wide variety of religious issues. Following Sir Leslie Stephen's English Thought in the Eighteenth Century, most commentators agree that two features constituted the core of deism:

* The rejection of revealed religion – this was the critical aspect of deism.
* The belief that reason, not faith, leads us to certain basic religious truths – this was the positive or constructive aspect of deism.

Deist authors advocated a combination of both critical and constructive elements in proportions and emphases that varied from author to author.

Critical elements of deist thought included:

* Rejection of all religions based on books that claim to contain the revealed word of God.
* Rejection of reports of miracles, prophecies and religious "mysteries".
* Rejection of the Genesis account of creation and the doctrine of original sin, along with all similar beliefs.
* Rejection of Judaism, Christianity, Islam and other religious beliefs.
* Rejection of belief in the Trinity and/or the divinity of Jesus.

Constructive elements of deist thought included:

* God gave humans the ability to reason.
* God exists, created and governs the universe.
* God wants human beings to behave morally.
* Human beings have souls that survive death; that is, there is an afterlife.

Specific thoughts on aspects of the afterlife will vary. While there are those who maintain that God will punish or reward us according to our behavior on Earth, likewise there are those who assert that any punishment or reward that is due to us is given during our mortal stay on Earth. Some do not believe in an afterlife.

... and a final word about her religion.

*now this is a little harsh - but the shadings of the truth are present... again for all organized religions of the world today - I tried going with Wicca once - it's not bad - but I find that the amount of imagination required is a little tiring. And the other problem about Wicca is that, although we can crib about misinterpretation and human hunger for power in translation when it comes to any of the sacred texts - those same texts, when interpreted as per each of our learning and knowledge and morality, are immensely useful in giving a broader perspective of things. Wicca does not have that advantage.*

What about Valdemar could possibly seem so threatening to a religion?

:There is no one true way,: Taver said. :That is what threatens the Sunpriests; that is what terrifies them. If you offer that to people, you offer them freedom, and you challenge those who claim ultimate authority. If you offer that, you give people options. The Sunpriests rely on being the ultimate, unchallengeable authority; their lives depend on the very opposite of options. Their rule depends on their followers having no options, and relies on blind belief and even blind obedience.:

...and about honor

In the following lines, I like how Lackey brings the grey areas into her definition as well - where included by the words 'also' and 'unless'... She brings the a little bit of realism into what is largely an idealistic concept...

Honor was never taking the easy way when it was also the wrong one. Never telling a falsehood unless the truth was painful and unnecessary, or a lie was necessary to save others. Never manipulating the truth to serve only yourself. Protecting the weak and helpless; standing fast even when fear made you weak. Keeping your word.

... what she says about love...

Love now-a good, solid love is something infinitely rare and difficult
to maintain, because you don't know everything your partner is feeling.
Love takes work. Love means being able to apologize and mean it when
you blunder. Love is worth fighting for!

One of the very things that made what Van and I have a love-match as
well as a lifebonding was that we were so different. It is like a
marriage - you marry who you think your beloved is, and then discover
who they really are over the years. It's that discovery that makes a
marriage work. We did have things in common, lots of them, but you
would never have assumed that from first seeing us. It made hunting
and finding them all the sweeter. And it gave us chances to introduce
each other to something new. 

Love is as much trust as it is devotion. Oh, there is no such thing as
perfection, or a "perfect" love. I doubt there is even perfection in
the Havens. Wouldn't perfection be a bore?

Build on what you have, children, the foundation is a good one, so now
see what kind of a house you can raise. And don't worry if the windows
aren't the right size, the door is too tall, or there's dust on the
mantelpiece. Just make sure the walls and the ceiling are sound, and
make certain your home holds laughter. The dust will take care of itself.

...and they tell me not to read fantasy!

Quick aside: This holds good for all the organized religions of today, or so I believe... unfortunately :( This is why I call myself a constructive Deist! ;)

Excerpt from Lackey's 'Exile's Honor':

"I'm hunting answers myself."

Geri regarded him with a somber gaze. "You, of all people, ought to know that you aren't going to find many of those here. Questions, certainly, but precious few answers. Ours is a faith, Alberich, not a map or a guide, and certainly not a set of certitudes. At least, that is the way it should be—"

"Not what it has become." He said that sadly, and once again, he was back in childhood, with that kind, yet stern priest, who tried to show him in ways a child would understand, just what the Sunlord was and was not. "We are the mirror of Valdemar—"

"More like the twin. Or we were, before things disintegrated." Geri sighed. "I've had this discussion with Henrick, actually. He is of the opinion that the long slide began with a will to power. I think it's more complicated than that. I think that the priesthood was corrupted by the congregation."

Alberich blinked. "How, exactly?"

"The laity wanted absolutes, answers, and the priesthood finally elected to give them answers, the simpler the better," Geri replied. "The Writ took second place to the Rule, and a poor second at that. The answers took away all uncertainty, and what is more, took away the need to think."

Alberich frowned; not for nothing had he spent so much of his childhood under the tutelage of a priest who knew—and lived—the old ways. "Above all, the Writ demands that a man—or a woman, for that matter—learn how to think."

Geri nodded. "You see? The old ways require that each person come to the Sunlord having thought through everything for himself. The current Rule requires that men become sheep, herded in one direction, following one path, pastured in one field, ever and always, so will it be."

"Sheep." It occurred to Alberich that it was probably no coincidence that the Sunpriests of Karse had taken to calling their congregations by the name of "flock."

"Sheep don't have to think for themselves, do they?" Geri made a face. "The Sunlord was reshaped from the Unknowable into the remote but predictable Patriarch, from the Whirlwind to the windmill that grinds—exceedingly small. Do this—you are gathered unto His bosom. Do that—you are cast into the outermost hells." Geri shook his head. "Answers are terribly seductive. The simpler they are, the more seductive they become."

Alberich turned that over in his mind, and found it certainly matched some of his own experience. "But that isn't the whole of it," he objected.

"Of course not. I just suggest that this was where the corruption started," Geri replied. "Then came the power, power that came from giving people what they wanted instead of what they needed, and power is just as seductive and even more addictive than any drug. Now—I don't know, Alberich. I don't know how it can be fixed. Or even if it can. It would take the Sunlord Himself in manifestation, perhaps. And someone as the Son of the Sun who is willing to hold to the hard course and be disliked, even hated."

"And loved."

"And loved," Geri agreed. "At one and the same time, and probably by the same people. Because when you demand that each situation be considered separately, and not responded to with the predigested Answer, you are always going to anger someone since you're always going to disagree with someone. Probably even someone who agreed with you the last time, and now takes this new response as a betrayal."

Alberich smiled sourly. "It would take the Sunlord Himself to protect someone like that."